What Did I Do Wrong, My Teen Is Violent?

How Most Parents Will Get Parenting Absolutely Wrong This Year

The root causes of teen violence are varied, and there is generally no single source of the problem. Teens are influenced by a number of factors as they grow and develop. Researchers are working hard to discover what the main factors are that turns some teens toward violence and what factors keep them nonviolent. As a parent of a violent teen, you may be wondering what part you’ve played in your teen’s anti-social behavior.

The good news is that researchers find that it’s a combination of factors that increase the risk of a teen becoming violent. While parenting styles and home environment do factor in, other things like social conditions, physical and mental conditions of the teen and more play a role. While we discuss parenting styles as a contributing factor to violence in teens, it’s important to not blame yourself, but instead take a good look at your family dynamics and work toward a more positive change for everyone.

There are generally two parenting styles that seem to contribute the most toward teen violence-excessively permissive parenting and punitive parenting. Both extremes don’t do well at teaching children how to handle challenges, solve problems and develop non-violent coping skills.

Permissive parenting is when the parents allow a child to grow up with few rules or boundaries. While many parents believe that this method is a good way to raise children because it creates little conflict, it really does a disservice to the child. When parents either give in to a child’s demands easily to avoid conflict or keep the peace, the child won’t learn valuable lessons about boundaries, compromise or appropriate behavior and does learn how to manipulate and get what they want no matter what.

Punitive parenting is a harsh, rule-bound parenting style that often includes spanking or other physical punishments. Because the boundaries for family rules are so strict, children do not learn problem solving skills or conflict resolution skills this way. In extreme cases, when spanking or other forms of physical punishment are common, children learn that violence is necessary to get what they want.

If you recognize some of your own parenting style in either of these extremes, it may be a contributing factor in why your teenager is violent. Children and teenagers need healthy boundaries, clear consequences and discipline for their actions and parents that they can count on to be consistent, reasonable and supportive as they learn about the world around them.

It’s not too late to make changes to your parenting style or to change the family dynamics. As you seek professional help for your child, consider family therapy to bring members closer together and to discuss how to create a dynamic that is consistent, loving, and healthy. Every family can benefit from therapy and learn new skills on how to deal with each other in a new and improved way, and thereby help their teenage child become less aggressive.

Some Help Your Teen Now Related Articles

Request Free Admissions Information

Step 1 of 3 - Your Contact Info

Written by Natalie

25 Nov, 2014

Recent Posts

Set Aside Differences With Your Ex for Your Teen’s Sake

Set Aside Differences With Your Ex for Your Teen’s Sake

Whether your divorce took you by surprise, or it is the fresh start you've needed, it is going to have an impact on every member of your family. Children and teenagers can often bear the brunt of the emotional turmoil surrounding significant changes to the family...

Does Your Troubled Teens Addiction Run in the Family?

Does Your Troubled Teens Addiction Run in the Family?

Did you get your eye color from your mother? Perhaps your hair and nose hail from your father’s side of the family? So many of our physical traits and behaviors can be due to our genetics. For some, there may be an increased propensity for addictive behaviors if there...

Recognizing if Cyberbullying is Happening Over Zoom Classes

Recognizing if Cyberbullying is Happening Over Zoom Classes

During the Covid-19 pandemic, Zoom.com has quickly risen to become the go-to choice for businesses and schools to hold meetings and classes. As parents, we worry so much about our teens being bullied when they are in school. It’s easy to think that the bullying would...

Teenagers Dealing With Mental Health Issues

Teenagers Dealing With Mental Health Issues

This piece is to help parents help their children,a lot of teenagers are struggling with mental health issues and would love to know you're there for them,even if they don't act like it Subtopics; •Common mental health issues teens face •How to know if your child is...

Signs Your Teen May Be Going Through Drug Problems

Signs Your Teen May Be Going Through Drug Problems

All teenagers are going to act out and have mood swings. With the changing hormones of adolescence, the occasional outburst is normal. But that doesn’t mean you should ignore warning signs that may indicate a deeper issue with your troubled teen. While most mood...

A Year of COVID and Checking Up on Your Teenager

A Year of COVID and Checking Up on Your Teenager

There is no doubt that the COVID-19 pandemic has harshly impacted our way of life, relationships, and mental health. We’re working differently, we’re living differently, and we’re spending time with family and friends differently. But the pandemic has not just taken a...

You May Also Like…

No Results Found

The page you requested could not be found. Try refining your search, or use the navigation above to locate the post.

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *