What Did I Do Wrong, My Teen Is Violent?

How Most Parents Will Get Parenting Absolutely Wrong This Year

The root causes of teen violence are varied, and there is generally no single source of the problem. Teens are influenced by a number of factors as they grow and develop. Researchers are working hard to discover what the main factors are that turns some teens toward violence and what factors keep them nonviolent. As a parent of a violent teen, you may be wondering what part you’ve played in your teen’s anti-social behavior.

The good news is that researchers find that it’s a combination of factors that increase the risk of a teen becoming violent. While parenting styles and home environment do factor in, other things like social conditions, physical and mental conditions of the teen and more play a role. While we discuss parenting styles as a contributing factor to violence in teens, it’s important to not blame yourself, but instead take a good look at your family dynamics and work toward a more positive change for everyone.

There are generally two parenting styles that seem to contribute the most toward teen violence-excessively permissive parenting and punitive parenting. Both extremes don’t do well at teaching children how to handle challenges, solve problems and develop non-violent coping skills.

Permissive parenting is when the parents allow a child to grow up with few rules or boundaries. While many parents believe that this method is a good way to raise children because it creates little conflict, it really does a disservice to the child. When parents either give in to a child’s demands easily to avoid conflict or keep the peace, the child won’t learn valuable lessons about boundaries, compromise or appropriate behavior and does learn how to manipulate and get what they want no matter what.

Punitive parenting is a harsh, rule-bound parenting style that often includes spanking or other physical punishments. Because the boundaries for family rules are so strict, children do not learn problem solving skills or conflict resolution skills this way. In extreme cases, when spanking or other forms of physical punishment are common, children learn that violence is necessary to get what they want.

If you recognize some of your own parenting style in either of these extremes, it may be a contributing factor in why your teenager is violent. Children and teenagers need healthy boundaries, clear consequences and discipline for their actions and parents that they can count on to be consistent, reasonable and supportive as they learn about the world around them.

It’s not too late to make changes to your parenting style or to change the family dynamics. As you seek professional help for your child, consider family therapy to bring members closer together and to discuss how to create a dynamic that is consistent, loving, and healthy. Every family can benefit from therapy and learn new skills on how to deal with each other in a new and improved way, and thereby help their teenage child become less aggressive.

Some Help Your Teen Now Related Articles

Request Free Admissions Information

Step 1 of 3 - Your Contact Info

Written by Natalie

25 Nov, 2014

Recent Posts

How to Help Your Violent Teen Manage Their Anger

How to Help Your Violent Teen Manage Their Anger

No parent is truly ever prepared to see their teen erupt in violent behavior. Whether the angry behavior is being expressed at school or home, or both, it can lead to a world of confusion and questions for parents who now need to navigate life with a teen prone to...

5 Tips to Find the Right Therapeutic Boarding School

5 Tips to Find the Right Therapeutic Boarding School

When your teen is struggling with behavioral problems or mental illness concerns, it’s essential to find the best resources to help them find their way back to stability. If you’ve decided to get your troubled teen into a therapeutic boarding school, you must select...

Why Eating Disorders Among Teens Are On The Rise

Why Eating Disorders Among Teens Are On The Rise

The pandemic has taken a toll on each of us. For teens, it has almost flipped their world upside down. From missing important sporting events to losing time with friends at parties and sleepovers, teens have struggled immensely. There has been a noticeable increase in...

What Screen Time is Doing To Teens

What Screen Time is Doing To Teens

We live in an increasingly connected world, with an increasing reliance on gadgets in our lives. When was the last time that everyone in your family went a full day without looking at a screen? Screen time is unavoidable, it seems, even for our teens. They need their...

The Most Commonly Used Drugs by Teens

The Most Commonly Used Drugs by Teens

According to several studies conducted over the last decade, there have been declining numbers of teens using illicit drugs. That said, there are still many teens who experiment with, use, and abuse both drugs and alcohol. Their reasonings may vary, and the level of...

Why Are ADHD Rates Rising?

Why Are ADHD Rates Rising?

Have a conversation with other parents, and you’ll find that many of them will speak about their children and teens, and even themselves, having been diagnosed with ADHD. It can feel like there are increasing ADHD diagnoses being seen across ages and genders, leading...

You May Also Like…

No Results Found

The page you requested could not be found. Try refining your search, or use the navigation above to locate the post.

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *