What Did I Do Wrong, My Teen Is Violent?

How Most Parents Will Get Parenting Absolutely Wrong This Year

The root causes of teen violence are varied, and there is generally no single source of the problem. Teens are influenced by a number of factors as they grow and develop. Researchers are working hard to discover what the main factors are that turns some teens toward violence and what factors keep them nonviolent. As a parent of a violent teen, you may be wondering what part you’ve played in your teen’s anti-social behavior.

The good news is that researchers find that it’s a combination of factors that increase the risk of a teen becoming violent. While parenting styles and home environment do factor in, other things like social conditions, physical and mental conditions of the teen and more play a role. While we discuss parenting styles as a contributing factor to violence in teens, it’s important to not blame yourself, but instead take a good look at your family dynamics and work toward a more positive change for everyone.

There are generally two parenting styles that seem to contribute the most toward teen violence-excessively permissive parenting and punitive parenting. Both extremes don’t do well at teaching children how to handle challenges, solve problems and develop non-violent coping skills.

Permissive parenting is when the parents allow a child to grow up with few rules or boundaries. While many parents believe that this method is a good way to raise children because it creates little conflict, it really does a disservice to the child. When parents either give in to a child’s demands easily to avoid conflict or keep the peace, the child won’t learn valuable lessons about boundaries, compromise or appropriate behavior and does learn how to manipulate and get what they want no matter what.

Punitive parenting is a harsh, rule-bound parenting style that often includes spanking or other physical punishments. Because the boundaries for family rules are so strict, children do not learn problem solving skills or conflict resolution skills this way. In extreme cases, when spanking or other forms of physical punishment are common, children learn that violence is necessary to get what they want.

If you recognize some of your own parenting style in either of these extremes, it may be a contributing factor in why your teenager is violent. Children and teenagers need healthy boundaries, clear consequences and discipline for their actions and parents that they can count on to be consistent, reasonable and supportive as they learn about the world around them.

It’s not too late to make changes to your parenting style or to change the family dynamics. As you seek professional help for your child, consider family therapy to bring members closer together and to discuss how to create a dynamic that is consistent, loving, and healthy. Every family can benefit from therapy and learn new skills on how to deal with each other in a new and improved way, and thereby help their teenage child become less aggressive.

Some Help Your Teen Now Related Articles

Request Free Admissions Information

Step 1 of 3 - Your Contact Info

Written by Natalie

25 Nov, 2014

Recent Posts

Learning How to Show Your Teen Love

Learning How to Show Your Teen Love

How do you express love to your family and friends? How do you prefer to be shown love? We each have our love language. This is the way that we prefer to show and be shown affection and love. When our children are little, physical touch, protection, and words of...

Teens and Drug Experimenting

Teens and Drug Experimenting

Teen drug experimentation can sometimes be considered harmless, but that is incorrect. Many teens who experiment with drugs end up abusing them, creating significant health risks for themselves. The National Institute on Drug Abuse states that people are most likely...

6 Mobile Apps That Bring Sexting to a Whole New Level

6 Mobile Apps That Bring Sexting to a Whole New Level

No parent really wants to think about their teens having thoughts related to sex. Most of us simply want to pretend that it isn’t happening. It’s entirely too scary to consider, and in truth, it can be uncomfortable to have an honest conversation with your teen. Plus,...

How to Protect Teens Online?

How to Protect Teens Online?

Have you met up in person with people you’ve met online? It seems like many of us have, in one way or another. Today, meeting up with coworkers and new friends we’ve only previously interacted with online is almost commonplace. It could be that you’ve developed strong...

Out of Control Teen : What to do When Punishment Doesnt Work

Out of Control Teen : What to do When Punishment Doesnt Work

Just when parents think we have good boundaries, consequences, and routines down for our kids and teens, they throw us another curveball that essentially renders every effort obsolete. When teens act out and are out of control, it can make things even more of a...

What are Teen Labels in 2022

What are Teen Labels in 2022

As humans, we want to understand ourselves better and feel comfortable in our identity. There is a need to want to understand what’s going on to control it and make sense of it. Labeling helps categorize behaviors and situations. Teenagers are impulsive; hence, they...

You May Also Like…

Why Your Teen Needs To Get A Job!

Why Your Teen Needs To Get A Job!

In my 3 decades of working with teens I have frequently been asked if teens should work. I am referring to working at...

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *