What Did I Do Wrong, My Teen Is Violent?

How Most Parents Will Get Parenting Absolutely Wrong This Year

The root causes of teen violence are varied, and there is generally no single source of the problem. Teens are influenced by a number of factors as they grow and develop. Researchers are working hard to discover what the main factors are that turns some teens toward violence and what factors keep them nonviolent. As a parent of a violent teen, you may be wondering what part you’ve played in your teen’s anti-social behavior.

The good news is that researchers find that it’s a combination of factors that increase the risk of a teen becoming violent. While parenting styles and home environment do factor in, other things like social conditions, physical and mental conditions of the teen and more play a role. While we discuss parenting styles as a contributing factor to violence in teens, it’s important to not blame yourself, but instead take a good look at your family dynamics and work toward a more positive change for everyone.

There are generally two parenting styles that seem to contribute the most toward teen violence-excessively permissive parenting and punitive parenting. Both extremes don’t do well at teaching children how to handle challenges, solve problems and develop non-violent coping skills.

Permissive parenting is when the parents allow a child to grow up with few rules or boundaries. While many parents believe that this method is a good way to raise children because it creates little conflict, it really does a disservice to the child. When parents either give in to a child’s demands easily to avoid conflict or keep the peace, the child won’t learn valuable lessons about boundaries, compromise or appropriate behavior and does learn how to manipulate and get what they want no matter what.

Punitive parenting is a harsh, rule-bound parenting style that often includes spanking or other physical punishments. Because the boundaries for family rules are so strict, children do not learn problem solving skills or conflict resolution skills this way. In extreme cases, when spanking or other forms of physical punishment are common, children learn that violence is necessary to get what they want.

If you recognize some of your own parenting style in either of these extremes, it may be a contributing factor in why your teenager is violent. Children and teenagers need healthy boundaries, clear consequences and discipline for their actions and parents that they can count on to be consistent, reasonable and supportive as they learn about the world around them.

It’s not too late to make changes to your parenting style or to change the family dynamics. As you seek professional help for your child, consider family therapy to bring members closer together and to discuss how to create a dynamic that is consistent, loving, and healthy. Every family can benefit from therapy and learn new skills on how to deal with each other in a new and improved way, and thereby help their teenage child become less aggressive.

Some Help Your Teen Now Related Articles

Request Free Admissions Information

Step 1 of 3 - Your Contact Info

Written by Natalie

25 Nov, 2014

Recent Posts

Handling a Teen Who Steals

Handling a Teen Who Steals

When you were a child, did you take a candy bar from a store without paying? Many of us have done this in our younger years. How our parents responded shaped our ability to make decisions and know the difference between right and wrong. Most of us grew out of this...

Parenting a Narcissistic Teenager

Parenting a Narcissistic Teenager

What is your understanding of what narcissism is? It’s often misunderstood and overused. Anyone who talks a bit much about themselves or seems to enjoy dressing up can often be referred to as a narcissist when they may just have great self-confidence. In truth,...

How to Get Along With Parents When You Are a Teenager

How to Get Along With Parents When You Are a Teenager

Do you find that you struggle to connect with your parents lately? Being a teenager can bring a world of changes to your life. Including finding that it’s not as easy as it once was to speak with, connect with, and confide in your parents. You may find that you’re...

Fun Family Teen Building Activities

Fun Family Teen Building Activities

The teen years can be challenging; from mood swings and big emotions to wanting to experience a bit of freedom, it can be an exciting transition as these young adults become their own people. If you’re looking for fun ways to interact with your teenager, look no...

How to Best Help My Troubled Teen

How to Best Help My Troubled Teen

Has your teen started acting out? Behaving in a manner that seems uncharacteristic? Perhaps your teen has started running with the wrong crowd or seems to have lost interest in things he once loved to participate in. Some behavior and attitude changes are considered...

Keeping Your Teen Safe on their Cell Phone

Keeping Your Teen Safe on their Cell Phone

For most of us, our smartphone is rarely far from our hands. There are many things to be said about our reliance on the little devices that holds so much of our lives. Good and bad. For parents, a cell phone can be a helpful tool when they need to keep in touch with...

You May Also Like…

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *