What Did I Do Wrong, My Teen Is Violent?

How Most Parents Will Get Parenting Absolutely Wrong This Year

The root causes of teen violence are varied, and there is generally no single source of the problem. Teens are influenced by a number of factors as they grow and develop. Researchers are working hard to discover what the main factors are that turns some teens toward violence and what factors keep them nonviolent. As a parent of a violent teen, you may be wondering what part you’ve played in your teen’s anti-social behavior.

The good news is that researchers find that it’s a combination of factors that increase the risk of a teen becoming violent. While parenting styles and home environment do factor in, other things like social conditions, physical and mental conditions of the teen and more play a role. While we discuss parenting styles as a contributing factor to violence in teens, it’s important to not blame yourself, but instead take a good look at your family dynamics and work toward a more positive change for everyone.

There are generally two parenting styles that seem to contribute the most toward teen violence-excessively permissive parenting and punitive parenting. Both extremes don’t do well at teaching children how to handle challenges, solve problems and develop non-violent coping skills.

Permissive parenting is when the parents allow a child to grow up with few rules or boundaries. While many parents believe that this method is a good way to raise children because it creates little conflict, it really does a disservice to the child. When parents either give in to a child’s demands easily to avoid conflict or keep the peace, the child won’t learn valuable lessons about boundaries, compromise or appropriate behavior and does learn how to manipulate and get what they want no matter what.

Punitive parenting is a harsh, rule-bound parenting style that often includes spanking or other physical punishments. Because the boundaries for family rules are so strict, children do not learn problem solving skills or conflict resolution skills this way. In extreme cases, when spanking or other forms of physical punishment are common, children learn that violence is necessary to get what they want.

If you recognize some of your own parenting style in either of these extremes, it may be a contributing factor in why your teenager is violent. Children and teenagers need healthy boundaries, clear consequences and discipline for their actions and parents that they can count on to be consistent, reasonable and supportive as they learn about the world around them.

It’s not too late to make changes to your parenting style or to change the family dynamics. As you seek professional help for your child, consider family therapy to bring members closer together and to discuss how to create a dynamic that is consistent, loving, and healthy. Every family can benefit from therapy and learn new skills on how to deal with each other in a new and improved way, and thereby help their teenage child become less aggressive.

Some Help Your Teen Now Related Articles

Request Free Admissions Information

Step 1 of 3 - Your Contact Info

Written by Natalie

25 Nov, 2014

Recent Posts

What is a Teen Residential Treatment Center?

What is a Teen Residential Treatment Center?

Has your teen’s therapist suggested that a residential treatment center is a good next step for your teen? You may have questions about what a teen residential treatment center is and how it can possibly help your teen through the difficult stage he’s in right now....

How to Apologize to Your Teen

How to Apologize to Your Teen

Do you admit it when you’ve made a mistake or lost your temper? Apologizing is not always the easiest thing in the world to do, particularly if you’ve crossed a line or lost your temper with your teenager. Learning how to apologize to your teen doesn’t only help your...

Important Ways to Show Love to Your Teens

Important Ways to Show Love to Your Teens

You love your teenager. There’s no doubt about it. For your teen, however, feeling like you’re imposing more rules, boundaries, and consequences for his behavior may feel like he isn’t loved as much anymore. Your work schedule and other family obligations may have you...

How Parents Can Cope With Mental Fatigue

How Parents Can Cope With Mental Fatigue

Juggling the responsibilities of parenting, work, relationships, and other commitments can be overwhelming at the best of times. Even if you have great support from your co-parent and have plenty of other family and community support. But then, add in the stress and...

Tips to Prevent Teen Suicide

Tips to Prevent Teen Suicide

No one should ever have to experience the death of a loved one due to suicide. Unfortunately, due to poor mental health, many teenagers find themselves in this position. Teen suicide is an issue that needs to be addressed and discussing preventative tips can help...

Teen Is Refusing to Obey House Rules

Teen Is Refusing to Obey House Rules

If you have a teenage son or daughter, then you might be well aware of the fact that they are itching for a sense of freedom. You might be experiencing your teen refusing house rules - whether that is by wanting to stay out past curfew, taking the car at an...

You May Also Like…

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *