What Did I Do Wrong, My Teen Is Violent?

How Most Parents Will Get Parenting Absolutely Wrong This Year

The root causes of teen violence are varied, and there is generally no single source of the problem. Teens are influenced by a number of factors as they grow and develop. Researchers are working hard to discover what the main factors are that turns some teens toward violence and what factors keep them nonviolent. As a parent of a violent teen, you may be wondering what part you’ve played in your teen’s anti-social behavior.

The good news is that researchers find that it’s a combination of factors that increase the risk of a teen becoming violent. While parenting styles and home environment do factor in, other things like social conditions, physical and mental conditions of the teen and more play a role. While we discuss parenting styles as a contributing factor to violence in teens, it’s important to not blame yourself, but instead take a good look at your family dynamics and work toward a more positive change for everyone.

There are generally two parenting styles that seem to contribute the most toward teen violence-excessively permissive parenting and punitive parenting. Both extremes don’t do well at teaching children how to handle challenges, solve problems and develop non-violent coping skills.

Permissive parenting is when the parents allow a child to grow up with few rules or boundaries. While many parents believe that this method is a good way to raise children because it creates little conflict, it really does a disservice to the child. When parents either give in to a child’s demands easily to avoid conflict or keep the peace, the child won’t learn valuable lessons about boundaries, compromise or appropriate behavior and does learn how to manipulate and get what they want no matter what.

Punitive parenting is a harsh, rule-bound parenting style that often includes spanking or other physical punishments. Because the boundaries for family rules are so strict, children do not learn problem solving skills or conflict resolution skills this way. In extreme cases, when spanking or other forms of physical punishment are common, children learn that violence is necessary to get what they want.

If you recognize some of your own parenting style in either of these extremes, it may be a contributing factor in why your teenager is violent. Children and teenagers need healthy boundaries, clear consequences and discipline for their actions and parents that they can count on to be consistent, reasonable and supportive as they learn about the world around them.

It’s not too late to make changes to your parenting style or to change the family dynamics. As you seek professional help for your child, consider family therapy to bring members closer together and to discuss how to create a dynamic that is consistent, loving, and healthy. Every family can benefit from therapy and learn new skills on how to deal with each other in a new and improved way, and thereby help their teenage child become less aggressive.

Some Help Your Teen Now Related Articles

Request Free Admissions Information

Step 1 of 3 - Your Contact Info

Written by Natalie

25 Nov, 2014

Recent Posts

Teenage Programs For Teens With Violent Behavior

Teenage Programs For Teens With Violent Behavior

Parenting teenagers displaying violent behavior is no simple task. Parents need to access support programs tailored specifically for this situation to safely and responsibly manage them.  Fortunately, there are programs specifically created for teens with violent...

My Teen Keeps Threatening Suicide, What Can I Do?

My Teen Keeps Threatening Suicide, What Can I Do?

While teenagers can be impulsive and blurt things out that they don’t mean to say or intend to do, if your teen is threatening suicide, this is definitely something that will get your attention and should hold your attention. Whether your teen has the intent to follow...

Common ODD Symptoms Parents Need to Know

Common ODD Symptoms Parents Need to Know

Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) in teens can bring with it a number of challenges that parents may struggle to adjust to. All children and teenagers show oppositional behavior every so often; that’s just part of learning and testing boundaries. ODD, however, can...

What Do Military Schools Do To Help Struggling Teens?

What Do Military Schools Do To Help Struggling Teens?

When teenagers start struggling with their behavior, academics, or social issues, finding the right help can be difficult. But have you ever thought of military schools? It sounds extreme, but military schools can help struggling teens. As we all know, parenting is no...

How Does a Scared Straight Program Help Troubled Teens?

How Does a Scared Straight Program Help Troubled Teens?

Teenagers experiencing difficulty may need special programs to assist them in dealing with their problems and learning how to live their lives peacefully. One primary example is the Scared Straight program. Children and teenagers at risk of delinquency or already...

How To Keep Teens Safe From Texting Apps

How To Keep Teens Safe From Texting Apps

With countless risks online for children and teens, you know just how important it is to take steps to protect them as best you can. You can block their access to certain apps and limit their screen time. There are many solutions that parents can consider. There are...

You May Also Like…

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *