Seeking to Understand – The Best Way to Resolve Conflict with Your Daughter

Seeking to Understand - The Best Way to Resolve Conflict with Your Daughter

Conflict exists in almost every relationship, but parenting seems to come with more than its fair share. Many parents of teenage daughters try to avoid unpleasant confrontations at all costs —maybe because of the emotional effort involved, maybe because the topics are uncomfortable or maybe they are trying to choose the right battles to fight. Often parents avoid or overlook problems until the issues loom so troublesome, they can no longer be ignored. At this point, emotions might erupt and tempers flare, making it difficult to carry on a civil conversation. Instead of hiding from difficult issues, build an atmosphere of communication and trust to better deal with challenging topics.

Laying the Foundation

Resolving conflict with your daughter starts early on with establishing open communication. Don’t wait to talk to her when a problem occurs, but have conversations as an integral part of your everyday relationship. Sadly enough, with busy schedules and technology bombarding people on every side, “old fashioned conversations” do not happen regularly in most families. Take time to give your daughter your undivided attention. Sit with her, look her in the eyes and listen. Actively listening to your daughter creates an atmosphere where she feels safe to share her thoughts and feelings. Be vulnerable and take time to express your heart also. Fostering good communication requires patience and practice but pays off in the end.

Involvement in Her World

When your daughter talks about friends, school and social events, listen with genuine interest. Don’t look shocked, angry or disappointed by what she reveals. Often, your daughter just wants you to listen without passing judgement. She needs to know your love is unconditional. Keep an open mind as she speaks, and let her finish before asking questions or making comments. Sharing her heart does not indicate that she wants to hear your advice. Sometimes she might just need a sounding board. Don’t “lecture” her, but ask thought-provoking questions that allow her to brainstorm possible solutions to her situations.

Beyond listening to your daughter, involve yourself in her life. By getting to know her friends, attending her activities and showing an interest in the things she likes, you will demonstrate your love. The sacrifices you make to attend her concerts or cheer for her in the stands speak volumes. When your words and actions line up, your daughter develops trust in you.

Setting Solid Boundaries

During peaceful times, talk about family rules and set clear, realistic expectations. Make sure your daughter understands the reasons behind your decisions, even if she does not agree with all of them. Consistently enforce the standards you set. When problems occur, respond in a compassionate manner. Put yourself in her shoes, remembering your own tumultuous teenage years. Model how to calmly handle conflict. Actively listen and help her manage her emotions. When needed, give her, or yourself, time and space to cool down and agree to revisit an issue later.

Dealing with conflict becomes much easier with a solid relationship in place. Laying a foundation of trust, practicing good communication and practically demonstrating love will help lessen teenage conflicts.

Request Free Admissions Information

Step 1 of 3 - Your Contact Info

Written by Natalie

27 Jan, 2017

Recent Posts

Does Military School Improve Teen Behavior?

Does Military School Improve Teen Behavior?

You and your family might be considering a treatment center for your teen for a multitude of reasons; from behavioral issues and substance abuse to a lack of discipline and disrespect for authority, treatment can present itself in many different forms.  Getting...

What Can My Teen Expect at Military Boarding School?

What Can My Teen Expect at Military Boarding School?

Considering a military school for teens can be an overwhelming decision; after all, what is your child going to experience at one of these schools? What will their day-to-day life involve? While there are many choices available to parents and caretakers when it comes...

How Do Military Boarding Schools Differ From Residential Treatment?

How Do Military Boarding Schools Differ From Residential Treatment?

It can be a struggle to determine if your child would be better suited for a residential treatment center or if they would benefit from military school. There are many factors to consider if your teen is troubled; obviously, you want them to succeed and thrive in the...

How Does Equine Therapy Work to Improve Teen Behavior

How Does Equine Therapy Work to Improve Teen Behavior

If you are looking for a possible solution to conservative treatment for your troubled teen, then it might be time to look into equine therapy. This type of hands-on therapy has been used since the time of the ancient Greeks and for many different conditions....

Can ODD Be Cured?

Can ODD Be Cured?

You're not alone if your teen has displayed anger or dismay when you or another adult has set a boundary or enforced a rule. Every single child and teenager will be disappointed and frustrated somewhere along the way, especially when they are learning how to respect...

You May Also Like…

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *