Love, Lust, and Infatuation: Helping Your Teens Understand the Difference

Love, Lust, and Infatuation: Helping Your Teens Understand the Difference

One of the scariest parenting moments is when teenagers become twitterpated. We have all been there so we all know how easy it is for common sense and reason to fly out the window. Teenagers are highly emotional creatures to begin with but when hormones swirl it can be confusing to really understand what they are feeling. As parents we can help our teens give appropriate names to their emotions by teaching them the difference between love, lust, and infatuation.

Infatuation

Infatuation is one sided. It tends to be focused on the feelings of attachment to the point of being obsessive. Infatuation fulfills a need but unfortunately it is usually unresolved emotions from other relationships. Infatuation also focuses only on positive feelings which make it unrealistic to maintain. Infatuation is the idea of being in love without actually doing any of the work of real, lasting love.

Lust

Lust is the primal urge. Typically it is superficial and based on physical attributes and lacks substance. Lust also is devoid of the deep companionship of a real love relationship. Lust, like infatuation, is more of the idea of love except lust can deceive because you are not being honest with yourself about the person’s real attributes. Lust says, “I can change this person” when the person has no intention of change.

Feelings Are To Be Felt

Before we talk about love, it is important to understand infatuation and lust can lead to love however love only happens over time. If your teen is infatuated or even lust-filled for their latest crush, never demean their feelings. These early feelings will set the stage for the rest of their lives. Well-meaning parents can do their teens much damage by convincing them to ignore their feelings because they are not ‘real’. All feelings are real to the person feeling them.

Teaching your teen that infatuation and lust are like toddlers who are learning to walk and talk may help them frame these early feelings. Toddlers do not know all the words they need so they have to practice a lot. Teenagers who are awakening to early feelings of love need to practice recognizing how these feelings feel if they are to have successful relationships later in life.

Love

Love is a marathon—everything from the training to beyond the finish line. Love has depth and breadth and that love enhances both parties. Love lets two people remain individuals while growing together with love. Love is the safety to experience every emotion with another person and still wanting to see them the next day.

As a parent, one of the best gifts you can give your children is the emotional intelligence to feel all of these feelings. The love a parent expresses to their teen who is in infatuation, lust, or even love will set the tone for their success or failure of their future relationships.

Request Free Admissions Information

Step 1 of 3 - Your Contact Info

Written by Natalie

28 Dec, 2015

Recent Posts

8 Ways to Motivate Your Lazy Teen

8 Ways to Motivate Your Lazy Teen

Sleeping for hours on end, beyond the eight recommended hours, or refusing to get up off the couch to help around the house are almost the hallmarks of a teen. Caring less about their schoolwork or extracurricular activities they once enjoyed may also become a concern...

Understanding Teen Acute Stress Disorder Treatments

Understanding Teen Acute Stress Disorder Treatments

Has your teen recently received a diagnosis of Acute Stress Disorder? This disorder can be overwhelming for your teen to navigate, so you are sure to want to step in and offer them all of the help you can. This includes the right type of treatments and programs....

What is Behavioral Modification Therapy?

What is Behavioral Modification Therapy?

Behavioral modification therapy is a type of psychotherapy that aims to change or modify a person’s behavior. People often use it to treat mental health disorders, such as addiction, anxiety, and depression. In behavioral work, the therapist and client work together...

Common Teenage Addictions and How to Manage Them

Common Teenage Addictions and How to Manage Them

In 2022, it is well-known that teenagers and young adults are more prone to addiction than any other age group. There are many reasons for this, but the most commonly cited one is that teenagers' brains are still developing, and they are more impulsive and more likely...

Why Are Boarding Schools So Expensive?

Why Are Boarding Schools So Expensive?

One of the most substantial benefits of a public school system is that it generally doesn’t bring with it any direct costs for the parent. That said, public school systems are not designed to meet individual students' needs. Gifted students can often see their...

Schools for Emotionally Disturbed Students

Schools for Emotionally Disturbed Students

As adults and parents, we can recall the tumultuous teen years. What is considered emotionally disturbed in a teen? How can you tell that it’s not simply just regular teen angst or acting out? And just how do you know when it’s the right time to get your teen help?...

You May Also Like…

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *