Love, Lust, and Infatuation: Helping Your Teens Understand the Difference

Love, Lust, and Infatuation: Helping Your Teens Understand the Difference

One of the scariest parenting moments is when teenagers become twitterpated. We have all been there so we all know how easy it is for common sense and reason to fly out the window. Teenagers are highly emotional creatures to begin with but when hormones swirl it can be confusing to really understand what they are feeling. As parents we can help our teens give appropriate names to their emotions by teaching them the difference between love, lust, and infatuation.

Infatuation

Infatuation is one sided. It tends to be focused on the feelings of attachment to the point of being obsessive. Infatuation fulfills a need but unfortunately it is usually unresolved emotions from other relationships. Infatuation also focuses only on positive feelings which make it unrealistic to maintain. Infatuation is the idea of being in love without actually doing any of the work of real, lasting love.

Lust

Lust is the primal urge. Typically it is superficial and based on physical attributes and lacks substance. Lust also is devoid of the deep companionship of a real love relationship. Lust, like infatuation, is more of the idea of love except lust can deceive because you are not being honest with yourself about the person’s real attributes. Lust says, “I can change this person” when the person has no intention of change.

Feelings Are To Be Felt

Before we talk about love, it is important to understand infatuation and lust can lead to love however love only happens over time. If your teen is infatuated or even lust-filled for their latest crush, never demean their feelings. These early feelings will set the stage for the rest of their lives. Well-meaning parents can do their teens much damage by convincing them to ignore their feelings because they are not ‘real’. All feelings are real to the person feeling them.

Teaching your teen that infatuation and lust are like toddlers who are learning to walk and talk may help them frame these early feelings. Toddlers do not know all the words they need so they have to practice a lot. Teenagers who are awakening to early feelings of love need to practice recognizing how these feelings feel if they are to have successful relationships later in life.

Love

Love is a marathon—everything from the training to beyond the finish line. Love has depth and breadth and that love enhances both parties. Love lets two people remain individuals while growing together with love. Love is the safety to experience every emotion with another person and still wanting to see them the next day.

As a parent, one of the best gifts you can give your children is the emotional intelligence to feel all of these feelings. The love a parent expresses to their teen who is in infatuation, lust, or even love will set the tone for their success or failure of their future relationships.

Request Free Admissions Information

Step 1 of 3 - Your Contact Info

Written by Natalie

28 Dec, 2015

Recent Posts

The Role of Family Therapy in Troubled Teen Rehabilitation

The Role of Family Therapy in Troubled Teen Rehabilitation

Troubled teens need a supportive family structure to heal themselves and turn around their lives.  However, it can be challenging to create and foster that type of support structure without the proper tools. It becomes especially difficult when the troubled teen's...

Alternative Approaches: Wilderness Therapy for Troubled Teens

Alternative Approaches: Wilderness Therapy for Troubled Teens

Also known as outdoor behavioral therapy, wilderness programs for teenagers are becoming increasingly popular. And it's not hard to see why. As a society, we are so far removed from nature, leaving us very little opportunity to utilize the full benefit of spending...

Transforming Troubled Teens: Success Stories from Boarding Schools

Transforming Troubled Teens: Success Stories from Boarding Schools

The decision to send your troubled teen to a therapeutic boarding school is one that causes many parents sleepless nights filled with worry and anxiety.  It's understandable. This is your child, and the idea of sending them away from your care is enough to cause...

Choosing the Right Boarding School: A Guide for Parents

Choosing the Right Boarding School: A Guide for Parents

When deciding on your child's education, parents often feel overwhelmed by the wide variety of choices on offer. For parents with a troubled teen, this is possibly even more difficult, especially when they've opted for a residential treatment center like a therapeutic...

How Troubled Teen Help Hotlines Can Make a Difference

How Troubled Teen Help Hotlines Can Make a Difference

For teens in emotional distress, the option to speak to someone who is neutral yet understanding can help them face another day. This is where teen help hotlines come in.  With 24/7 access to a professionally trained helpline operator, troubled teens can seek help...

What Sets Disciplinary Schools for Teens Apart?

What Sets Disciplinary Schools for Teens Apart?

Modern teenagers face many challenges their parents didn't have to consider while growing up.  This leaves parents and caregivers at a loss when trying to understand their teenagers and their daily problems. It gets even more complicated when you have a troubled teen...

You May Also Like…

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *