How You Can Handle A Spouse That Asserts Too Much Authority On Your Teen

How You Can Handle A Spouse That Asserts Too Much Authority On Your Teen

Authority is a tricky thing. As a parent you absolutely have to have it. As a teen they absolutely have to challenge it. Too little causes chaos. Too much causes distrust. Figuring out the balance of authority is a constant challenge in a parent-teen relationship, and it takes work. It can be even more difficult if you find yourself co-parenting with a spouse who asserts too much authority.

How Much Authority Is Too Much?

How much authority is too much? How do you know if your spouse is asserting too much authority? Much of this depends on your spouse, your child, and the immediate circumstances, because of course everything is personal. But take note of the following characteristics, because if you’re seeing several of these when your spouse parents your child, it may indicate a use of too much authority:

  • Attempts to control their behavior, feelings, moods, even thoughts
  • Micromanaging even basic tasks
  • Discouraging personal interests or dreams
  • Harsh punishments
  • Lack of forgiveness for mistakes
  • Inability to trust your teen
  • Negative or critical talk about your teen
  • Rejecting or ignoring your input in parenting

What Can You Do?

It’s an incredibly complicated situation when you disagree with your spouse about parenting. The most important thing is to be consistent and united in the raising, rules, and consequences for your teen. This means the first step is to have an honest conversation with your spouse. Tell them what you’re seeing, and why it concerns you. Express your feelings kindly, but firmly. Be sure to fully explain, and prepare for them to feel defensive. Then take the time to listen to their side, as they likely see it in a very different light.

Together, try to come up with some parenting goals upon which you both agree. Maybe you’ll give your teen a later curfew this weekend and see how it goes. Maybe mom will handle all the punishments & consequences from now on as a rule. Don’t be afraid to try new things to see what works.

For Your Teen

Don’t forget your teen in all of this. They may feel unloved, disrespected, and distrusted by the amount of authority your spouse exerts on them. Having a discussion about how they feel can be critical. Explain that the authority comes from a place of protection and love, and ask them how you (and your spouse) can better show it. You may need to be more sensitive about compensating for your spouse’s extra authority with love and trust.

If your spouse is asserting too much authority because your teen is not responding, that is very common and can be fixed. If your spouse is asserting too much authority because your teen is out of control or in need of serious correction, there is help out there for them and for you. You don’t have to let strong authority ruin the relationships you have – get some assistance and get y our teen back today.

Request Free Admissions Information

Step 1 of 3 - Your Contact Info

Written by Natalie

5 Jul, 2017

Recent Posts

Does Cost Impact the Quality of Troubled Teen Programs?

Does Cost Impact the Quality of Troubled Teen Programs?

Many factors come to mind when considering a treatment program for your teenager. From location and specialty to care provided and length of the program, it's vital to consider all the finite details before making a final selection on a behavioral school, military...

Teens and Sexting, How to Protect Your Teen

Teens and Sexting, How to Protect Your Teen

It may not be something that you want to think about your teen taking part in, but sexting is a very real issue that many are facing today. It’s uncomfortable for parents to think about and of course uncomfortable to discuss with teens. And, none of us think our teens...

Programs for Teens With Bad Behavior

Programs for Teens With Bad Behavior

Is your teen’s behavior out of control? If his behavior has progressed from what is considered the norm for a rebellious teenager, you may struggle with knowing the next step to take to help your teen get his behavior back on track. Timeouts worked when he was a...

Do Teen Military Boot Camps Really Work?

Do Teen Military Boot Camps Really Work?

How much do you know about teen boot camps? Are you curious about whether a military boot camp could be the right choice to help your teen work through the issues he’s struggling with? Boot camps for teens are often highlighted in a negative way when they pop up in...

Helping Teens Struggling With PTSD

Helping Teens Struggling With PTSD

Has your teen experienced trauma that he doesn’t know how to process and heal from? Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can leave long-lasting mental health issues that may follow your teen into adulthood. Without getting into a treatment program that addresses...

No One Likes Me, How Do I Fit In?

No One Likes Me, How Do I Fit In?

When you find it difficult to make friends, it can feel like you’re alone and no one likes you. While it’s true that not every person will click with you, it could just be that you’ve not yet found the best ways to connect with those around you. It’s hard to make...

You May Also Like…

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *