How To Talk It Out When Defiance Leads To Dropping Out

Evaluating Residential Treatment Programs To Make Confident Decisions

Having your teen tell you that he wants to drop out of school can be terrifying. Gone are the years when your influence over him held total sway and despite the laws requiring his presence at school while he is still a minor, there is not much you can do if he chooses to leave classes regularly or simply stops caring. While you may still see your son as a child, it is important to remember that he is on the cusp of becoming an adult and yelling and making rules may not have the same effect as approaching him rationally to talk things out. Chances are, he is prepared for you to behave dramatically over his decision and making him part of the conversation could be your ticket to figuring out a solution.

Here are some steps to help you talk it out:

  1. Get to the bottom of the issue – The first thing you need to do is figure out what the problem is. Does he resist school because he is getting bullied? Is he stressed about the educational goals expected of him? Have you ruled out a learning disorder or ADHD? Figuring out what is leading to his defiance and decision to drop out is the key to taking further steps.
  2. Determine his expectations – Your teen may have no plan beyond being done with the boredom of school, or he may be anxious to get out and start doing his own thing. Either way, you need to guide him toward what he thinks the next step is.
  3. Give him the facts – Even if your teen happens to have a good job at the moment or assumes that he will simply learn a trade in order to get by, he should be aware of the statistics involved in entering the workplace without at least a high school degree. He is less likely to be hired anywhere and more likely to get the bottom of the barrel when it comes to wages. Even a steady, decently paying job can be lost and he is at risk for looking for employment in a market of much more qualified adult candidates. In addition, the likelihood that most trade programs will accept him without at least a GED is low.
  4. Talk about compromise – To be fair, dropping out of high school doesn’t necessarily mean the end of the world, education-wise, especially if he is willing to compromise and simply study for his GED or attend an alternative high school where he can participate in a classroom setting at his own pace.
  5. Be supportive, but not financially… – Let your teen know that you will no longer give him free room and board if he chooses to leave school. Determine the amount you would charge him for the rent of his room and board as well as his car expenses and make these numbers clear before he makes his decision. Without this step, you are feeding the idea that he is independent and doesn’t need an education as well as removing any incentive he might have to ever move out. It’s important to approach this solution in a matter of fact way, rather than making it a threat. If your teen takes you up on it, he will quickly see how quickly a paycheck can get eaten up by regular monthly expenses, much less the extras that teens like to have. This can be one of the most effective ways to get your son to see the value of his education.

For more information on how you can handle your defiant teen, please visit our site at Sundance Canyon Academy.

Request Free Admissions Information

Step 1 of 3 - Your Contact Info

Written by Natalie

27 Jan, 2016

Recent Posts

Teen Body Dysmorphia

Teen Body Dysmorphia

Remember when you were in middle school or high school, and you wanted to fit in with all of the “cool” kids? This could’ve looked like participating in different sports teams to running for a class position or even emulating a new hairstyle. Throughout these...

How Residential Treatment Centers Focus on Mood Regulation

How Residential Treatment Centers Focus on Mood Regulation

We can all be moody at times. That’s just a part of being a human juggling life, work, responsibilities, and feeling like we’re running on empty much of the time. There’s also often the idea that teenagers are just moody, whether due to hormones or as a part of...

Should Troubled Teens go to Private School or Public School?

Should Troubled Teens go to Private School or Public School?

When you’re living with a troubled teen, it can be a stressful situation for everyone in the house. You may not know where to turn to to get your teen help. He may be struggling at school, skipping school, getting into fights, or simply not fitting in well. Even with...

Sullen Mood? How to Handle Teens Ups and Downs

Sullen Mood? How to Handle Teens Ups and Downs

Are you parenting a teen and noticing more angry outbursts, sullen moods, and acting out more than usual? Mood swings aren't uncommon; we all have had to work through them as we've gotten older. The key is to be able to teach your child how to maneuver through and...

Finding Help For Teen Son With ADHD

Finding Help For Teen Son With ADHD

All families are different, and the signs and symptoms of ADHD (Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) can show up differently. Sometimes, a child can show the classic symptoms of ADHD from a very young age and receive treatment almost immediately. Other times, the...

Improve Your Relationship With Your Teen Son

Improve Your Relationship With Your Teen Son

If you want to improve your relationship with your teen son, there are a few different strategies that you can use. In this article, we’re going to focus on specific ideas for one-on-one date nights that you can do with your teen. Creating personal time away from...

You May Also Like…

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *