How to Correct Your Parenting Mistakes When Your Teen is Out of Control

How to Correct Your Parenting Mistakes When Your Teen is Out of Control

All parents make mistakes – lots of them. It’s a constantly changing process with an increasingly sharp learning curve. It’s always hard to face mistakes, but it can be especially difficult to accept that our mistakes have negatively impacted our children. When teenagers are out of control it is tempting to place the blame on them – they make their own choices, refuse to listen to parents or adults in authority, and simply cannot understand the implications of their actions. And they certainly are accountable for much of what they do. However, if there is to be any hope for an out of control teen then parents need to own up to their mistakes and do their best to correct them.

Parenting Mistakes

It’s an unfortunate truth that parenting mistakes absolutely can contribute to teen delinquency. It has been found that neglectful, indulgent, and authoritarian parenting styles can be the most likely to result in serious parenting mistakes. This means that parents to ignore their children, or give them whatever they want, or parent with a heavy hand of control are more likely to have an out of control teen. Another interesting study found that parenting mistakes can definitely lead to delinquent behavior, especially if there has been a poor formation of relationship between the child and the parent of the same sex (boys with their father, girls with their mother). Sometimes attachment problems can cause teens to act out, even years later. Attachment issues can be formed in a lot of ways – abuse, stressful scenarios, neglect, harsh punishments, confusion, or fear. Often parents who struggle to form healthy attachment to their children do so because they themselves have unresolved trauma or issues in their past life.

Take abuse for example. Children who are abused form disorganized attachment issues, and are more likely to be delinquent adults. When they have children they are far more likely to abuse them, creating a cycle of abuse. Abuse in particular is one of the parenting mistakes that leads to negative consequences for teens, every time. Accepting responsibility for the parenting mistakes of abuse (and other missteps) is an important part of dealing with a delinquent teen.

Correcting Parenting Mistakes

The first step, as always, is accepting and acknowledging mistakes. Parents need to look at their parenting styles, times that they reacted emotionally, mistakes they made, and the attachment they have formed with their troubled teen. As soon as they can identify the mistakes they have made, progress and improvement is possible. This step may include apologizing to the teen for mistakes, as difficult or embarrassing as it may be.

Once parents have addressed their mistakes, the immediate focus should be on creating healthy parenting habits and doing their best to repair the attachment and relationship with their out of control teen. Of course it’s easier said than done, but at times teens can see a concerted effort and change in their parents that will make a meaningful difference.

The last step to correcting parenting mistakes is getting outside help. It may begin with therapy for the parents, teen, or both, to resolve past issues and emotional wounds. Creating a support team of parents, other family members, therapists, teachers, and coaches can be helpful for everyone involved. Eventually parents need to correct their parenting mistakes in an extreme way when it is apparent that their teen is truly out of control. In order to protect their teen and salvage their future, some parents turn to the help of experts at schools for troubled teens. It is a difficult choice and sacrifice, but ultimately the right decision to correct parenting mistakes and help a teen that is out of control.

Request Free Admissions Information

Step 1 of 3 - Your Contact Info

Written by Natalie

24 Jul, 2016

Recent Posts

What Are The Best Programs for Troubled Teens?

What Are The Best Programs for Troubled Teens?

If you have a troubled teen or a teen otherwise in crisis, it may have been suggested that you consider a therapeutic boarding school or a residential treatment center. While you know your teen needs more help and better therapeutic options, you may hesitate to...

Is My Teenager Gaslighting?

Is My Teenager Gaslighting?

Does it sometimes feel like your teenager is making you doubt yourself, doubt the things you’ve said, and even feel confused about what you have or haven’t said? If you’re confused just by trying to figure it out, there are good odds that your teenager is gaslighting...

10 Fall Activities To Do With Your Teen

10 Fall Activities To Do With Your Teen

The holidays will be here before we know it - and now is the perfect time to reconnect with your teen before the hustle and bustle of the winter season arrives. Not only can you show your teen that you’re available to them for time outside of work and school, but you...

Help! My Teen is Sexually Active.

Help! My Teen is Sexually Active.

It’s the conversation many of us have been dreading for years: Talking to your sexually active teens about what they are doing, how they need to be safe, and how to recognize red flags in their sexually active life. As much as we’d like to simply bury our heads and...

Conflict Resolution for Teens

Conflict Resolution for Teens

Conflict can be stressful no matter how old you are. Unfortunately, conflict is just part of life. Teens can feel conflict to be very personal and even scary, leading to behaviors that are not optimal for dealing with this stress. Teens also are more likely to be...

How Do I Control My Anger as A Teenager?

How Do I Control My Anger as A Teenager?

Your teen years are filled with rollercoasters of emotions, confusion, frustration, and so much more. Parents may say that the teen years are challenging for them, but it could just be that they’ve forgotten just how it feels to be a teen. And indeed, parents today...

You May Also Like…

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *