Parenting is the hardest thing you will ever do. No one does it perfectly. Mistakes abound at every turn as children grow and develop into adults. However, some mistakes can be simply avoided by just knowing what NOT to do. As your thinking of ways to improve your parenting, consider these wrongs that most parents are making, so you don’t do them.
Doing Everything
Children want a lot from their parents. The keyword in that statement is that they “want” not “need.” Many parents feel as though they need to do everything their children ask, but that is not the best way to parent. Instead of doing everything children want, try doing just what they need, and encouraging them to do what they want. Ann Landers, a popular child expert says, “It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings.”
Believing Our Children Can Do No Wrong
Parents – we know that you love your children, but really, they are human – they do wrong. When someone comes to you, like a teacher, and says that your children has been exhibiting inappropriate behaviors, trust that is correct. Children WILL lie to avoid getting into trouble, so don’t assume if he says he didn’t do it, he didn’t.
Being a BFF
Parents aren’t BFFs – they are parents. When you cross the boundary into friendship, you enter into a role of not being able to discipline your child effectively. This doesn’t mean you have to be overly authoritative with your child; it just means you have to make sure you remain in control of the relationship. According to an article published in the Huffington Post, “seeking to be our child’s BFF can only lead to permissiveness and choices made out of desperation because we fear losing their approval.” Always remember; children seek our approval, not the other way around.
Trying to Change Them
Our children may be our offspring, but they are their own separate beings. They will not have all of the same likes and dislikes, and they will someday (if not now) have their own opinions. Respect their identities even if they aren’t exactly what you would have imagined for your children. As long as what they are thinking and doing aren’t hurting anyone, try to swallow the urge to point out what you don’t agree with.
We Do the Best We Can
All you can do is do the best you can when it comes to parenting. As long as children are loved, taken care of, and guided, you are doing your job as a parent. If situations get to be too much to handle, there’s always professional help for kids and teens ready to step in and solve any issues. It takes a village, so do what you can, and then lean on others for support when needed. That’s how to be a successful parent.
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