When your teen gets angry, one of the worst things you can do is fight back. The screaming, the shouting and the arguments aren’t just affecting you and your teen, but everyone around you, too. Including your family.

If you have little ones looking up to you teen this could be tragic, but regardless, it puts everyone in your family on high alert, causes stress and isn’t healthy for anyone to be around at length. So what do you do?

Do NOT yell back or shout louder. This won’t make you win, instead it makes you a part of the problem. Yelling and shouting will only instigate your teen to yell and shout even louder… because that’s how you win, right?

DO take the time to relax, and learn about what triggers you and your son. The goal here is not to “win” the argument, but to avoid them all together. This takes work from both ends.

Do NOT curse, name-call or give threats. If you want to calm down a situation with your teen, these actions will only feed into it, and fuel the fire. Be sure to stay calm and grounded for your teen, your family and your sake. The last thing this situation needs is an unstable teen AND parent. Do you part and show them how to act… it’s not always easy to stay calm and walk away, but it will certainly be worth it in the end.

DO take three deep breaths, go for a walk and cool down before you respond or get involved in the drama. To be around constant drama is draining for everyone involved, and will affect daily family life if you let it.

Do NOT try and “win.” Let’s be honest – nobody’s winning here if there is a screaming match that has ensued. Strong parents know the best thing to do when they feel themselves getting worked up is to stay calm and walk away from an escalating situation.

DO something you enjoy, whether alone or as a family. Get out into nature, de-stress, take yourself out of the “battle zone” and focus on what you’re grateful for. Positivity is a light that is necessary in our lives.

Do NOT be afraid to ask for help. That’s why we’re here… and we can guarantee that you are NOT the first one to have this problem or feel helpless in trying to fix it. Just ask for help.

What it all comes down to is personally working on effective conflict resolution and mediator skills. As mentioned above, you can’t always do it alone, but be sure to take some basic steps to protect both your sanity and your family. Focus on maintaining your happiness and seek professional help if needed.