Defiant Teens: Strategies for Dealing with Oppositional Behavior

Dealing with Oppositional Behavior

It’s been one of those days, you say, as you notice that “those days” have been coming far too often lately. The door has been slammed one too many times. You’ve had to put out at least three temper fires before breakfast, and your teenager is now not talking to you unless they’re spewing a string of words aimed at hurting you.

You may be dealing with an oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) teen.

This post will look at ODD, its underlying causes, and tips to help you and your teenager get through each day with a little bit more peace.

What is Oppositional Defiant Disorder?

ODD was first entered into the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual in 1980. Since then, research has grown, as well as strategies to help overcome or lessen the side effects of ODD.

The disorder predominantly affects children and teenagers, but it can sometimes carry on well into adulthood, causing disruptions in home and work relationships.

Not all defiant teens have ODD, which is a licensed professional diagnosis according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual

The exact cause of ODD is unknown, but several factors contribute to the condition and perhaps even increase the severity of it.

For example, children not taught valuable emotional regulation techniques may struggle with handling their feelings and emotions. This can lead to sudden angry outbursts and resentment towards authority figures.

A lack of consistent and effective discipline from parents and caregivers may also be to blame, as well as unstable relationships in the teen’s family life.

Environmental factors, such as peer pressure and an unsafe living space, could also lead to defiant behavior instances in teenagers. As well as existing personality or mental disorders such as bipolar disorder and attention deficit disorder. 

So, how do you know whether you are just dealing with a defiant teen or an adolescent battling ODD?

The main symptoms of ODD can be characterized by the following:

  • Constant irritability with others, especially those in authority
  • Inexplicable temper tantrums and sudden outbursts, which occur frequently
  • Blatant ignoring of rules and regulations
  • Not taking responsibility for behavior or actions
  • Easily angered or annoyed with others and their behavior
  • Using harmful language intended to hurt others.

If your teen exhibits one or more of these signs, seeking help from a licensed child and adolescent psychologist focusing on behavioral concerns is advisable. Your nearest healthcare center will be able to point you in the right direction. Sometimes, it may even be necessary to consider residential treatment options.

Meanwhile, here are some steps you can follow to provide the best support and care for your child.

5 Tips for Dealing with Oppositional Behavior

It can be challenging to keep calm and carry on when your teen’s behavior is both triggering and concerning at the same time.

The following guide will prompt you to pause and reflect during a heated moment. Please print it out, save it to your phone, or do whatever you can to remind you what to do when your teen’s actions cause harm.

1) Upskill your parenting strategy

Attend training sessions on behavioral disorders, join a support group, and make it your mission to learn everything you can about oppositional behavior.

Adopt new techniques, which you can learn about in parent management training, to help you establish and maintain order in your relationship with your teen.

It’s all about ensuring you are the stable and understanding parent your defiant teen needs. That means following through on what you say and having clear consequences for your actions.

2) Work it out on the couch

The value of therapy cannot be understated. And it’s recommended that everyone involved in the teen’s life participate in therapy sessions.

It will take everyone working together to help a teen dealing with a behavioral disorder. You can look into the options of parent-child interaction therapy, family therapy, and individual therapy.

3) Look into training

Your teen essentially needs a way to release the anger and frustration they cannot cope with. Cognitive problem-solving training is worth a try, as it’s designed to retrain the mind to solve issues rationally and logically.

There are also other options, such as social skills training. This kind of training will encourage appropriate behavior when around others.

4) Respect, reinforce, release

When in doubt, remember the 3 R’s:

  • Respect your child’s feelings, actively listen, and offer help. 
  • Reinforce their good qualities, and acknowledge and appreciate when your teen does something good.  
  • Release the anger and transgressions from the past. Holding a grudge against your teen will only exacerbate the situation. 

5) Be a good example

Your children look at how you conduct yourself around others, notice how you react, and model their behavior on yours. Use the power of mimicry by showing your teen, through your actions and words, the acceptable behavior. 

A Helping Hand

It’s important to remember that your child is not out to get you, even though it may sometimes feel that way. ODD affects everyone around your teen, including themselves.

While the tips above are helpful when facing ODD with your teen, sometimes a more intensive strategy is needed, such as therapeutic boarding schools and residential treatment centers.

This is where Help Your Teen Now can assist. Our team of dedicated members is well-equipped and ready to guide you through selecting the best residential treatment option for your child. 

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Written by Natalie

14 Dec, 2023

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