Avoid The Compare Snare: How To Parent Unique Teen Siblings

If you have more than one child, you have undoubtedly discovered that each child comes with their own distinct personality traits, quirks and temperaments. As each of your children are undeniably different, it can be hard as a parent to know how you should alter your parenting to best suit the needs of your children as individuals. Celebrate Their Differences No child wants to be compared to their siblings. If there is an aspect where one of your children thrives and the other one falters, make sure you don't highlight that difference to your children. Chances are the child that lacks in a certain area is very well aware of the fact and doesn't need to reminded. Instead, you should celebrate the differences between your children. Compliment them in the areas where they excel and remind them that it's never fair to compare their weaknesses to someone else's strengths as this will just leave them feeling inadequate. Change Your Methods You learn how to be a parent with your first child, this learning process comes with a lot of trial and error, adjusting your parenting style until it's right for you and your family. When your second child comes you might assume that you can do everything the same way, but this isn't always the case. Instead you have to learn all over again as you discover what your second child responds best to and then change your parenting method to best accommodate their individuality. Alter Your Expectations As your children get older and enter their teenage years it can be difficult not to compare them. When one child comes home from school with an A in math class and the other comes home with a C it will be tempting to expect the same level of performance. Instead you as a parent need to alter your expectations for each child. Once you are familiar with your children's capabilities, you will be able to encourage more from them when you know they can do better or celebrate them when you know they've done their best. In a study published in the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, psychologists found that children's anxiety and depression were cut in half when parents altered their parenting to best suit their children's personality. While it may be a struggle to change your parenting technique for each child, the end result will be a happier and healthier child.

If you have more than one child, you have undoubtedly discovered that each child comes with their own distinct personality traits, quirks and temperaments. As each of your children are undeniably different, it can be hard as a parent to know how you should alter your parenting to best suit the needs of your children as individuals.

Celebrate Their Differences

No child wants to be compared to their siblings. If there is an aspect where one of your children thrives and the other one falters, make sure you don’t highlight that difference to your children. Chances are the child that lacks in a certain area is very well aware of the fact and doesn’t need to reminded. Instead, you should celebrate the differences between your children. Compliment them in the areas where they excel and remind them that it’s never fair to compare their weaknesses to someone else’s strengths as this will just leave them feeling inadequate.

Change Your Methods

You learn how to be a parent with your first child, this learning process comes with a lot of trial and error, adjusting your parenting style until it’s right for you and your family. When your second child comes you might assume that you can do everything the same way, but this isn’t always the case. Instead you have to learn all over again as you discover what your second child responds best to and then change your parenting method to best accommodate their individuality.

Alter Your Expectations

As your children get older and enter their teenage years it can be difficult not to compare them. When one child comes home from school with an A in math class and the other comes home with a C it will be tempting to expect the same level of performance. Instead you as a parent need to alter your expectations for each child. Once you are familiar with your children’s capabilities, you will be able to encourage more from them when you know they can do better or celebrate them when you know they’ve done their best.

In a study published in the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, psychologists found that children’s anxiety and depression were cut in half when parents altered their parenting to best suit their children’s personality. While it may be a struggle to change your parenting technique for each child, the end result will be a happier and healthier child.

Request Free Admissions Information

Step 1 of 3 - Your Contact Info

Written by Natalie

26 Apr, 2017

Recent Posts

The Role of Boarding Schools in Fostering Responsible Behavior

The Role of Boarding Schools in Fostering Responsible Behavior

Boarding schools often summon the image of a Mrs Trunchbull-esque figure, ruling with an iron fist over a cohort of rebellious children. Another typical idea of a boarding school conjures the image of well-to-do children reading poetry by a riverside in the English...

How Military Camps Provide Structure for Troubled Teens

How Military Camps Provide Structure for Troubled Teens

Encouraging our kids to stay focused has become one of the most challenging tasks in parenting. From social media to video games, it can be difficult to inspire our teenagers to study or focus on personal goals, especially if they are struggling with emotional...

Aftercare Programs for Troubled Teens: Ensuring Long-Term Success

Aftercare Programs for Troubled Teens: Ensuring Long-Term Success

The end goal of any troubled teen intervention, whether that be therapeutic boarding schools or a boot camp, should be the successful reintegration of the adolescent into society.  The road to recovery does not end as soon as the program does. Supporting troubled...

Understanding the Academic Aspect of Troubled Teen Boarding Schools

Understanding the Academic Aspect of Troubled Teen Boarding Schools

At a boarding school for troubled teens, for example, you won't find the traditional methods of learning used in the public school system.  Instead, you will encounter various academic offerings catered to your troubled teen's learning needs.  To help you understand...

You May Also Like…

Teenage Anxiety on the Rise

Teenage Anxiety on the Rise

Teenage anxiety is on the rise with statistics showing more young people than ever struggling with feelings of stress,...

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *