Avoid The Compare Snare: How To Parent Unique Teen Siblings

If you have more than one child, you have undoubtedly discovered that each child comes with their own distinct personality traits, quirks and temperaments. As each of your children are undeniably different, it can be hard as a parent to know how you should alter your parenting to best suit the needs of your children as individuals. Celebrate Their Differences No child wants to be compared to their siblings. If there is an aspect where one of your children thrives and the other one falters, make sure you don't highlight that difference to your children. Chances are the child that lacks in a certain area is very well aware of the fact and doesn't need to reminded. Instead, you should celebrate the differences between your children. Compliment them in the areas where they excel and remind them that it's never fair to compare their weaknesses to someone else's strengths as this will just leave them feeling inadequate. Change Your Methods You learn how to be a parent with your first child, this learning process comes with a lot of trial and error, adjusting your parenting style until it's right for you and your family. When your second child comes you might assume that you can do everything the same way, but this isn't always the case. Instead you have to learn all over again as you discover what your second child responds best to and then change your parenting method to best accommodate their individuality. Alter Your Expectations As your children get older and enter their teenage years it can be difficult not to compare them. When one child comes home from school with an A in math class and the other comes home with a C it will be tempting to expect the same level of performance. Instead you as a parent need to alter your expectations for each child. Once you are familiar with your children's capabilities, you will be able to encourage more from them when you know they can do better or celebrate them when you know they've done their best. In a study published in the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, psychologists found that children's anxiety and depression were cut in half when parents altered their parenting to best suit their children's personality. While it may be a struggle to change your parenting technique for each child, the end result will be a happier and healthier child.

If you have more than one child, you have undoubtedly discovered that each child comes with their own distinct personality traits, quirks and temperaments. As each of your children are undeniably different, it can be hard as a parent to know how you should alter your parenting to best suit the needs of your children as individuals.

Celebrate Their Differences

No child wants to be compared to their siblings. If there is an aspect where one of your children thrives and the other one falters, make sure you don’t highlight that difference to your children. Chances are the child that lacks in a certain area is very well aware of the fact and doesn’t need to reminded. Instead, you should celebrate the differences between your children. Compliment them in the areas where they excel and remind them that it’s never fair to compare their weaknesses to someone else’s strengths as this will just leave them feeling inadequate.

Change Your Methods

You learn how to be a parent with your first child, this learning process comes with a lot of trial and error, adjusting your parenting style until it’s right for you and your family. When your second child comes you might assume that you can do everything the same way, but this isn’t always the case. Instead you have to learn all over again as you discover what your second child responds best to and then change your parenting method to best accommodate their individuality.

Alter Your Expectations

As your children get older and enter their teenage years it can be difficult not to compare them. When one child comes home from school with an A in math class and the other comes home with a C it will be tempting to expect the same level of performance. Instead you as a parent need to alter your expectations for each child. Once you are familiar with your children’s capabilities, you will be able to encourage more from them when you know they can do better or celebrate them when you know they’ve done their best.

In a study published in the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, psychologists found that children’s anxiety and depression were cut in half when parents altered their parenting to best suit their children’s personality. While it may be a struggle to change your parenting technique for each child, the end result will be a happier and healthier child.

Request Free Admissions Information

Step 1 of 3 - Your Contact Info

Written by Natalie

26 Apr, 2017

Recent Posts

Military School for Troubled Teens: Expectations VS Reality

Military School for Troubled Teens: Expectations VS Reality

Military school is often the first thing people think of as a solution for a teen who is rebellious, belligerent, and disrespectful. They picture a drill instructor yelling at a surly teenager until the teen finally changes his ways and becomes a better person....

How Teens Struggle Through Parent’s Divorce

How Teens Struggle Through Parent’s Divorce

Divorce is difficult for everyone in the family, but how does it affect your teen? Most teens are unaware of how to deal with these changes and may act out in different ways from shutting down to acting out. If your teen is having difficulty comprehending how to deal...

8 Fun Hobbies That Keep Your Teenager Engaged

8 Fun Hobbies That Keep Your Teenager Engaged

It is alarming how many teens claim boredom as their reason behind substance abuse, shoplifting, and other dangerous behaviors. While boredom isn't the whole story—many troubled teens also struggle with their mental health, which requires therapy to manage—addressing...

6 Things You Can Say That Will Change Your Teen’s Life

6 Things You Can Say That Will Change Your Teen’s Life

What parents say to their teenagers can have a massive impact on their lives. The old adage, "Stick and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me" doesn't apply when it comes to parents speaking to their teens. Even when angry with their parents, teens...

7 Bad Habits Your Teenager May Be Engaging In

7 Bad Habits Your Teenager May Be Engaging In

Most humans are creatures of habit. Establishing healthy habits early in life eliminates the possibility of having bad habits as an adult, and greatly reduces the risk of bad habits turning into more serious issues. However, not all teenagers are aware when they are...

7 How to Be a Part of Your Teenager’s Digital Life

7 How to Be a Part of Your Teenager’s Digital Life

In their children's early years, parents often felt relief when their kids would be entertained by digital engagement since it meant chores, grocery shopping, and other things could get done. Yet, when it comes to teenagers, the endless absorption in digital life can...

You May Also Like…

My Teen is a Liar!

My Teen is a Liar!

If you’re raising a teen, there might have been times that you caught your teen lying to you. All kids can be caught...

Is Self Harming Always a Concern?

Is Self Harming Always a Concern?

How much do you know about self-harm? If you have a personal history of self-harming, then it’s likely that you look...

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *