Connecting with your teen daughter is an impressive and sometimes seemingly impossible feat. She’s wrapped up in texting, social media, tv shows, magazines, friends, boys, and anything OTHER than her lame and overbearing parents. At least that’s how it might feel if you’re a parent of a teen girl with whom you can’t seem to connect. Many parents begin to feel this as a sort of fever pitch – realizing that there are miles between them and their daughters, feeling that it’s too late to close the gap. It’s incredibly important to connect with teenage girls to promote mental, emotional, and spiritual health. Your involvement in her life can be formative and changing. So how can you connect with her when it seems you’re living on different planets? We have a few ideas.

10 Ways to Connect With Your Hard-to-Reach Teen Girl

1. Learn her friend’s names. This shows you are invested in her life and things she likes.
2. Get a manicure/pedicure, massage, hair cut, or other pampering service with her, one-on-one. It will make her feel special and allow time for true connection.
3. Ask about boys she may be interested in. Sometimes teen girls feel this is a taboo subject to talk about with parents, and they may respond awkwardly, but it can be an important way to open doors.
4. Give her private opportunities to open up. If you’re always with her siblings, your spouse, or other people, she may feel she never has a chance to talk with you. Run errands with her alone, or check in with her when she is by herself.
5. Confide in her. By telling her something from your life you are showing her the trust in your relationship.
6. Learn a skill together. Cook a difficult meal, take a class, try a new hobby!
7. Speak positively about your own body – and hers. She is listening, even if it doesn’t look like it, and positive body image makes a big difference for teen girls.
8. Express concern about her and her life often. Sometimes this concern may be worry, but it should sometimes be polite, loving concern. Make it a habit to show her you care about her and her life, no matter her response. This is particularly important if you believe your teen girl may be troubled or struggling.
9. Ask about things she dislikes or hates. Surprisingly, teens are often more open to discussing things they don’t like than when we try to connect with things they do like.
10. Daily Communication Counts. No matter how brief, try to talk with her and really listen every day, even if it’s just in the car on the way to school or if she ignores you.

If you fear your daughter may be “too far gone” for you to reach – she’s experimenting with drugs, sex, crime, eating disorders, or other problems – there is help out there for your daughter and your family. Find help now to ensure that your teen daughter makes her way back to happy, healthy life.